Monday, September 24, 2007

God, weeds and my OCD



I feel like God talks to me sometimes while I weed. It started at a young age and has continued until now. During these times I contemplate weeds, the process of weeding, the position my body must take while weeding, and how it makes me feel before, during and after the chore. At long last I'm going to write about it so that I can once and for all get these thoughts out of my head and perhaps discover new ones with the added space.

Context: I'm randomly OCD. Light switches, light switch plate screws, removing tags and labels and pulling weeds are a few areas of craziness for me. This is compounded by the fact that we have a yard with three areas of gravel, pea gravel, or sand. The previous owners had an above-ground pool area that we just haven't reinvented into anything else because we're kept busy enough with the inside of the house and already established ares of the yard. I am the primary weeder of our family and when I realized that I really wanted to keep the areas outside chemical-free for Sarah's sake, then weeding became an even greater importance if I didn't want those areas to be jungles of obnoxious weeds. Up until this point, I think that I have succeeded in making sure the play areas (all three are definitely ares where Sarah - my little future geologist/rock-eater LOVES to play) are kept clear of all but some patches of moss.

WEEDS: have always represented evil/sin to me. Yes, Adam and Eve were banished and had to deal with weeds as a result of their rebellion, had to eat by the toil of their own hands and sweat on their brow. Weeds are nature's evidence of rebellion. Weeds choke out the plants we want to grow, the ones we plant for beauty or food. Weeds make me think of the sin in my life that steals the beauty away from what God intended me to be. Sin dampens joy and distracts me from my relationship with my Creator. They clutter up the simple life I desire to lead and block the way to the extraordinary. Weeds start as unseen sprouts that grow into horrendous obnoxious invaders. There is immense advantage in plucking tender sprouts before they get to the stage where they can multiply themselves. I don't know all of the botanical processes, but what's true for resisting/confessing and repenting sin is true for weeds - the earlier in the process you do it, the better.

I got really serious about keeping our areas weed free when I realized how much Sarah likes being outside. My goal was for us to have a nicely maintained yard without any danger to her innocent little body. It had to be a chemical-free zone for her. So I began an all out effort to establish a baseline of no weeds so that I could maintain it easily. Wiping the slate clean did really help, because now, every time I'm out there with Sarah as she plays, I pluck the no good sprouts and by the time she's finished playing, I have a handful or two and the area looks a LOT better. Daily maintenance is really the way to go - both for weeding and letting the Holy Spirit search my heart for the no-good sprouts.... When I skip a day or two, it is all very clear that too much time has gone by - the evidence of bits of green leaves no doubt.



After it rains is my favorite time to weed because they come out of the soil so much easier. Much like after I read my Bible, hear a sermon with my heart wide-open, have a time of worship in song, recognizing and surrendering the sin in my heart - roots and all - so much easier... My heat is watered in the Truth of God's word and is tilled up to reveal what lies just beneath...


Weeds come in all different kinds, sizes, shades, and degrees of stubbornness. The ones that push through the gravel and slip out easily from the soil below are not a problem. They are easily recognized, uprooted and seem to be loners - not tending to multiply en masse. My arch nemeses are the kind that are tiny and multiply by the thousands as if overnight someone spread their seeds over the pebbles... Now, if we really wanted to do it right, we'd order a truck load of pea gravel, of regular gravel, first lining everything with that landscaping material barrier, and do something to cover the sand so that the likelyhood of any sprouts getting the water, soil and sunlight they need would be minimal. Alas, right now we don't feel motivated to do that or to spend money on rocks. How often does my laziness to invest and cover myself in the Truth of God cause weeds to continue to flourish in my life when they wouldn't if I had more Truth covering my heart? Convicting to be sure. Every time I choose to forego my Bible reading time, decide to be undisciplined and choose comfort, I compromise maintaining a healthy covering of His Truth in my heart, and on the forefront of my mind.

And so I continue to weed and read...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very well written Abbey! You stirred my heart with your words today. You should write a devotional. Thanks for letting me lurk on your blog via Kelly! :-)

Abbey said...

Thank you for your encouragement Nadeen! I've lurked on your blog, and can thank Kelly for that as well!